2026, January
"Something is burning…
inside me
without a smoke.
Something is burning…
without a heat,
but cold.
Something is burning…
Without a light,
but darkness.
Maybe it’s hope….
that’s burning…..
Yes…., it must be hope…….
Because nothing else
leaves behind
such silence
once it’s gone.
Hope feels like a creature from another world. Everything around you and me burns, but hope dances in a fire that gives no warmth, only chill. Still, maybe it's good they’re leaving. I’m tired of holding on to them, just like I was tired of holding on to you. Hopes, they make you sleep without rest. Too noisy. Always asking to keep the door open, day and night. And look, all those who had no place to stay, they came in. They left at will. And I only I paid the rent. But now, with them gone, I can finally shut the door. Close the windows too they only bring in dust. I’ll be free. No more worries. No more serving others. No more need to light candles. I can sit in the dark. It was always for others, not for me. You might not remember, but this is about the apartment I bought for the two of us. You once asked whether we could live together. You never moved in. But I shifted the very same night I bought it moved in with your hopes. Now, it’s those same hopes I’m kicking out. I’ll move back to a smaller place. You can visit sometime. But I wonder , is there any space left for you to fit in now ?
"Well, heaven was jealous
and couldn't handle me
having perfection in my feelings,
that's how
I lost youuuuuu….
I had everything in my name
against God's rules.
Rusted my tongue for
hands were ready to hold you.
Had no trouble sleeping
so he stretched me off you.
Was powerless but proud,
that's how
I lost youuuuuu….
immune with your love but
time attacked yooooo.
Ohh, I ask your apologies,
my friends—
that I took it too deeply,
and unexpectedly, to heart
that you never knocked
at my door
to ask of
my well-being.
For I have realized:
you have never even
visited your own door,
but always wandered
outside your home
living on streets
paved by the piles
of others’ egos,
and washed to white
by their lies.
The most horrific question…
comes to my mind,
why it was given and
what if I miss
the chance to know
Peace was the question,
equality was the answer
but equality ask
for perfection
and perfection put stop
to the evolution ( identity of universe)
and it's against the wish of time.
congrats, hurray...
we all are equal
we all are slave to
the time.
It's not me,
it's the voice
of the giant rivers,
flowing inside me
I once believed love was no paradox, that the heart, beyond contradiction simply loved. But I’ve seen it send blood to every part of me and draw it back just as cruelly. The pause between those pulses is no justice to the body, no mercy for its tolerance. And I, I am a paradox inside a paradox. A heartbeat folded in on itself.
2025, July
2025, June
2025, December
2021, November
